so whats new

•January 25, 2007 • Leave a Comment

so many many things are new

first off, here is a picture of the loft i move into in march:

dsc00857.jpg

im so in love with the place, i know it doesnt look like much right now, but it has so much potential and is exactly the type of place i wanted. i cant wait to get to be able to start building the place the way i want it.

other than that a lot of other things are going on. but im a running a little late and it will have to wait until  the next time i feel like posting (who knows when that will be)

•January 12, 2007 • Leave a Comment

its been a while since i bother posting, but mostly because ive just been really busy.

im in toronto now, staying with annie and it looks like kyle and i are getting this beautiful loft space for march (its an amazing space). currently half convincingly looking for work and just not letting myself get stressed out.

there are times, when im walking around the city when i wonder if i really want to be here. but the truth of the situation is that i dont have to many choices and i have a lot of friends here which actually makes it pretty fun. its been nice hanging out with annie and soon rebekah comes back and there is always kyle.

i just dont know if this is me or not, hopefully i will eventually find a job cause this is sorta boring not having one.

•December 27, 2006 • Leave a Comment

like most of my posts im really not sure where to start. im quite hungover right now after quite an amazing party last night in toronto. i went with kyle to a friends place and somehow throughout the night we pinned jack down to the floor (with one hell of a fight) and covered his chest in that fake tanning stuff, ended up with a picture of his penis on my cell and got a haircut.

the problem is, everytime i resort to heavy drinking to solve my problems i always end up realizing at the end that my problems are still there and really all i got out of it is another contibution to my ulcer.

so here is where i am situated. i most likely am getting a studio apartment with kyle for feb. but before that i have quite a bit of time to do whatever i want, and i really do not want to think about a job yet – so travelling sounds like a good plan. i have a friend in brazil whom i have already contacted and he said i am more than welcome to come visit him while im working my way south through brazil to go travel through the rainforests for a bit. my other plan in malta, the reason malta is interesting to me is because i know nothing about it really – a good friend of mine mentioned it a long time ago and since then it has always sort of been in the back of my mind. i know there are tons of places i could go, and really searching around the internet doesnt help because i could easily just think of many places i have always wanted to go see, but when it comes down to it i know wherever i go i will have a good time. the problem is deciding where and if i should go. is this just me running away from my problems or is it actually a good idea?

•December 23, 2006 • 1 Comment

i need somewhere to travel to. anyone have any suggestions, it only has to satisfy one thing… it has to be something very different that here.

my thoughts

•December 22, 2006 • Leave a Comment

Hi Paul. Thanks for your time yesterday. (what about the last month?? the number of phone calls emails back and forth and times you guys took your sweet time without and communication?)

Unfortunately we are unable to offer you an internship in London at this time, as we have a full in-take of interns from January 2007. (a full intake, you make it sound like a miscalculation. theres not even any attempt at creative critism, which hurts at the time usually in the end hopefully leads to positive change. either way thanks for inserting my name at top of a template you have created. how does it feel to be that disassociated from people?)

I have copied our US Editor Ethan Zindler, based in DC, who will let you know if there are any internship opportunities in the US during 2007. (awesome, offer a false hope i have no interest in accepting)

Apologies for not being able to offer you anything at this time. (does this make you feel human?)

Rgds (getting tired of having to put up with this simple formallity of having to type this arent you)

Chris (we’re buddies now, you can just casually sign this off on a simple first name basis… maybe throw is a hugs and kisses or xoxoxox)

•December 22, 2006 • Leave a Comment

now what?

•December 21, 2006 • 1 Comment

i feel like crap, that pretty much sums me up. Yesturday I had to talk to the director of research for the company i was applying for and the conversation went terribly. He started asking me questiong and had very specific anwsers in mind, he asked me things like what do governments do to promote clean energy solutions. my anwser was that they basically give money to companies who develope clean energy solutions by funding them. he then proceded to tell me that there are two ways and funds was one. Then he started a sentence “governments promote new energy by giving companies tax …” so i said incentives. well apparently the word he was looking for was “breaks” or refunds. its fucking stupid, i understand conceptually how markets work, just because i do not know the specific terminology doesnt mean a single thing, i have not been an economics student and i really feel what he was asking me was dumb. im so sorry im not familiar with exact terminologies, most of what i know has been picked up randomly from movies and cnn, it doesnt mean that after a few days of being in an enviroment that uses these words i wouldnt be able to pick it up.

so now things went from looking like i had an amazing opportunity to shit. ive been a physics student, not a business one. it would take me a whole of a week at most to become familiar with that specific enviroment. I really felt like telling him that im not an idiot and just because i dont know the specific word he’s looking for doesnt mean i dont understand the concept.

after the interview i went to toronto to get my passport and after went to see kyle for a stiff drink, kyle said i was being too negative and most likely after the two interviews ive already had with awesome reviews i still stand a chance, but i tend to give up right away once things start looking bad. so i spent the rest of the day feeling terribly, and apparently it looks like im going to spend the next day feeling the same. to make matters worse, once i got back home from toronto i started drinking a little more heavily and had a conversation with a girl, who im in no way  interested in (or well no real interest that i feel will go anywhere). talking to her is almost frightning as communication seems very natural. the problem is we both are extremly bi-polar which just means one of is eventually going to hurt the other person.

whatever i guess, im just going to go on a bit of a bender for the next few days i think. planning on catching a bus to toronto today and just drinking and smoking weed for the next few days until i hear back from london on friday and saturday and then returning in time to spend xmas with my retarded family. well just another example of something which seemed good going to shit, that will teach me for actually believing something good exists in this world.