i feel like crap, that pretty much sums me up. Yesturday I had to talk to the director of research for the company i was applying for and the conversation went terribly. He started asking me questiong and had very specific anwsers in mind, he asked me things like what do governments do to promote clean energy solutions. my anwser was that they basically give money to companies who develope clean energy solutions by funding them. he then proceded to tell me that there are two ways and funds was one. Then he started a sentence “governments promote new energy by giving companies tax …” so i said incentives. well apparently the word he was looking for was “breaks” or refunds. its fucking stupid, i understand conceptually how markets work, just because i do not know the specific terminology doesnt mean a single thing, i have not been an economics student and i really feel what he was asking me was dumb. im so sorry im not familiar with exact terminologies, most of what i know has been picked up randomly from movies and cnn, it doesnt mean that after a few days of being in an enviroment that uses these words i wouldnt be able to pick it up.

so now things went from looking like i had an amazing opportunity to shit. ive been a physics student, not a business one. it would take me a whole of a week at most to become familiar with that specific enviroment. I really felt like telling him that im not an idiot and just because i dont know the specific word he’s looking for doesnt mean i dont understand the concept.

after the interview i went to toronto to get my passport and after went to see kyle for a stiff drink, kyle said i was being too negative and most likely after the two interviews ive already had with awesome reviews i still stand a chance, but i tend to give up right away once things start looking bad. so i spent the rest of the day feeling terribly, and apparently it looks like im going to spend the next day feeling the same. to make matters worse, once i got back home from toronto i started drinking a little more heavily and had a conversation with a girl, who im in no way  interested in (or well no real interest that i feel will go anywhere). talking to her is almost frightning as communication seems very natural. the problem is we both are extremly bi-polar which just means one of is eventually going to hurt the other person.

whatever i guess, im just going to go on a bit of a bender for the next few days i think. planning on catching a bus to toronto today and just drinking and smoking weed for the next few days until i hear back from london on friday and saturday and then returning in time to spend xmas with my retarded family. well just another example of something which seemed good going to shit, that will teach me for actually believing something good exists in this world.


~ by foreverandnever on December 21, 2006.

One Response to “”

  1. good read… thanks. I’m spending my Xmas alone, ,first in a while, gonna try to get pretty slanted for it. Anyway, I’m always driving from TO to Windsor so if your not a killer freak I can offer a lift some times.
    Allright, keep on keepin’ on.


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